Okay so it's early one morning and I am awake lying in bed. But I pretend to be asleep because I know Dennis is awake and I know what he is going to want if he knows I'm awake. I think I can safely say that's the last thing most women want to focus on as soon as their eyes open in the morning.
Well Dennis being a man tries to wake me in a few subtle ways. At this time we had a water bed so doing the ole 'change positions' in bed is a good try because the waves sometimes will stir me awake. NOT this time. Then he tries some coughing..NOPE I'm not ready yet. So he gives up hope and gets out of bed and as he walks to the bathroom he farts really loud. Now I find farts funny as long as they don't stink. If they stink then get the f out of my space. This was a funny one. I held my laughter until he is in the bathroom and couldn't hear me laughing because I don't want him to do an about face and get back in bed because... I'm still not ready.
While he is in the bathroom my mind races and I start to think of something funny I can do to let him know I was awake the whole time. It didn't take long for me to figure out that I'm gonna ask him if he heard the fart I ripped earlier.
He comes back into the bedroom and is standing in front of the closet and I casually start to stretch as if I'm just waking up and I yawn and say "good morning honey". He replies with a "good morning" and he sounds a bit put off because I never woke up before and he seems to be missing something in his day already. Then I ask him "Did you hear that fart I ripped?" He asks me "When?" I tell him "Just a few mins ago when you were walking to the bathroom." He really gets angry and looks at me and yells "THAT WAS MY FART!"
He was so upset that I tried to claim his fart. You would have thought I took the last circus peanut on earth. ( grossest candy ever) I busted laughing. I was crying laughing. I tried to claim his fart. Seriously has anyone ever tried to claim someone else's fart He eventually did laugh with me. I think he realized how silly it was for him to be so upset. It's a fart. There is plenty more where that came from.
Moral of the story... if you're not going to give it to him don't try and take it away from him either.
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