Ticks

Just the other day some friends of mine suggested we go up North again this year for my birthday.  OK let's do it but let's find a place without ticks or bedbugs.  Whatever that bug on me was I don't want to see one wherever we stay this time.

So while we were discussing what kind of bug it was, I started thinking about all the times I have had a tick on me.  Three times to be exact.  The only other relationships I've had with ticks are when I was very young and my dog Cindy had some on her and I'm pretty sure a burning, blown out match was involved in the removal of that one.  So there is a huge fear of these bloodsucking monsters deep down inside my gut.

First time I found a tick on me was in 1985.  I had just stepped out of the shower.  I grabbed the towel hanging on the bar and started the routine of drying off.  I don't know about you guys but I dry myself off the same way every time.  Starting with my hair I squeeze most of the dripping water out then I grab two corners of the towel and drag the towel down my back.  I let go of one corner and bring it around front and YIKES WTF IS THAT OMGOSH MOOOOOOOOOMMMMMMMMMM! 

Mother comes running to the bathroom  to chase off the Boogeyman but what she found was wayyy worse than the Boogeyman.  There was a tick on my hip.  It was a fat sucking tick not a blood sucking one.  She shooed it away with a broom. No just kidding..luckily it hadn't attached itself yet. So she just brushed it off.

Now it's 2000 and Dennis and I are in Andover MA at the Stevens Estate for a wedding.  We stayed the night there and in the morning we walked the grounds.  It was beautiful..lots of wooded trails and we decide to go off trail and into a field of tall grass and flowers to take some pictures.  When we arrived back at the estate we were packing and getting ready to leave so I changed my pants and HOLY MFIN WTF IS THAT DEEEENNNNIIIISSSSS!  another sunuva bitchin tick.  But this was a blood sucking one because I was pretty damned skinny back then.  Den got his gun out and the tick took off.  He is my hero.

Okay so last year me and Dennis and our friends Tom and Teresa went up north to Paradise, MI on my birthday weekend. Saturday morning we woke up to the looks of a blizzard.  We left the cabin to go for a 4 mile hike on the Tahquamenon Falls.  It was sooo nice.  I mean it really was a perfect day.  It ended with delicious steaks and asparagus cooked over the fire outside the cabin on Lake Superior.  The food the view and the company were more than anything I could ask for.  We cleaned up the kitchen and I went to the bedroom and put jammies on and sat and watched t.v.  Three beers later it's time for a potty break and I get up and go to the bathroom pull my pajama bottoms down because I'm not into peeing my pants any longer and OMGOSH WTF IS THAT AHHHHHH DENNIS OMG HELP HELP HELP!  I was able to catch the basterd in a kleenex and throw it in the toilet before Den got all the way in the bathroom to save me. 

After that last tick episode I've been wondering to myself if it were really a tick or a huge bedbug.  It all happened so fast and I destroyed the evidence with a flush.  It was much too cold for a tick to be outside that time of year.  But I've been told you can't see bedbugs.  I think I saw one.